There is no one size fits all parenting plan. It should be based upon the best interests of your children and what works for your family. I have created a checklist that is a good starting point for parents who are contemplating divorce or separation to address the numerous issues that need to be addressed in a parenting plan.
There is no one size fits all parenting plan. It should be based upon the best interests of your children and what works for your family. I have created a checklist that is a good starting point for parents who are contemplating divorce or separation to address the numerous issues that need to be addressed in a parenting plan.
Parenting Schedule (Research supports the concept that frequent continued contact with both parents is best for children in most situations). *
- There is no mathematical formula that is automatically applied.
- The question is how your child will divide their time between both homes.
- Your child’s unique needs should be the center of any discussion.
- 50/50 isn’t always best for the children
- Transportation. Who, Where and When? Pick up and drop off times should be specified.
- School District considerations
- How will we juggle extracurricular activities, after school, or other events?
- Will one parent return to work?
- Do any of the children have special needs?
*Tip: Print a paper calendar and outline the proposed schedule. I recommend doing this for an entire calendar year. (should include holidays, vacations, school breaks)
Holidays/Special Dates* What holidays are celebrated by your family?
- Birthdays
- Parents Birthdays
- Special Events (evolving)
- Father’s Day
- Mother’s Day
- Shared holidays
- Alternated holidays
*Tip: Check dates on the calendars several years in advance. Map them out on a calendar so you get a visual of what this will look like. Check school calendars as well.
Travel and Vacations: How much advance notice does each parent want or need to plan for vacations/travel?
- How much vacation time will each parent have each year?
- Will the children be required to travel?
- Who will pay for the cost of travel?
Schedule Changes:
- Life Happens. Flexibility is important.
- Emergency vs. non-emergency situations.
- Children need predictability. Schedule changes should be minimized.
Decision Making:
- Shared/ Sole or Split
- Education
- Medical
- Extracurricular
Communication: Between parents (computer-based communication systems are recommended).
- With the parents
- Frequency
- Text/Cell phone/Skype
Expenses: Draft a budget for anticipated expenses. (e.g. orthodontia, sports, tutoring)
- Co-Pays?
- Shared?
Resources:
- Our Family Wizard
- Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents
- Association of Family and Conciliation Courts
- Talking Parents
